Around The Twist

Needless to say there are major spoilers ahead. I suppose it’s probably a bit weird to watch a film just because a certain actor/actress you like is in it, but we all do it. I only watched the dire M. Night Shymalan’s Split for my hero and all-time bae, James McAvoy, and I only watched Assassin’s Creed for the chiseled god that is Michael Fassbender. So, naturally, when I saw the trailer for Alien: Covenant featuring the one and only Fassy, I had to go and see it. Now I watched Prometheus back in 2012 when I was a little fifteen-year-old, and I found it to be the weirdest, most confusing film I’d ever seen. Every single question was left unanswered and Charlize Theron died in the most Scooby-Doo way imaginable, running forwards into the path of a falling ship rather than to the side away from it. I loved the film’s soundtrack, and the acting in it was reasonably good, but the film was so confusing I just got irritated by it (plus the jump scares were so easy to for...

“ There are only two ways to live your life. One: as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle .” – Jacques Houdek I enjoy Eurovision. I don’t really care about the ‘political’ side of it, I don’t care that it’s cheesy or over-the-top since it’s only once a year, and I certainly don’t care if other people laugh at me or think I’m a melt because I watch it every year without fail. To me, sitting with close friends watching daft telly and eating takeaway (Pizza Hut was what we opted for) is an ideal Saturday night. This year Eurovision was hosted in Kiev, home of the chicken kiev, aka the capital of Ukraine. I root for Ukraine every year. Why do I root for Ukraine, you may be wondering. “Is it because you’re against Russian oppression?” friends have asked me. No, it is not, although I certainly don't support oppression; it’s because Ukraine was absolutely ROBBED of a win back in 2007, when my favourite act of all time, Verka Serduchka, ...

Ever since I was little, I’ve been nervous around animals. I used to be fully terrified of them, which was a pain as all of my friends seemed to have ‘beloved’ pets that I’d have to show enthusiasm towards, too. I used to want to cry at the sight of yappy, bitey, ‘just playing’ dogs that looked like they wanted to chew my precious face off, and I used to feel sick at the suggestion ‘why don’t you hold it?’, ‘it’ being a hamster or a rabbit or, God forbid, a cat. Now, as a full-on, twenty-something adult, I’m more annoyed by animals than scared of them. I don’t buy into the ‘doggo’ craze and I have to fight to roll my eyes at pictures of cute animals, with the exception of My Best Friend Hank, whose snout and little smile holds a special place in my cold heart. But while I like to say I’m not scared of animals, one animal will always be an exception; birds. I hate birds. I hate that they can be literally anywhere and descend through the sky like kamikaze pilots. I hate how if t...