RuPaul's Meh Race

Disclaimer: I love Drag Race. The theme tune is catchy, the formula works pretty well, and most importantly, I love the queens that pass through the work room and the memes and amazing quotes they provide us fans with. I am definitely one of those white girls that shouts yaaaass queen and lives for dramatic arguments, big hair and glittery makeup. And it’s because I love Drag Race that I feel so strongly about this series and how relentlessly meh it is.

I don’t know what it is, either the cast or just the editing, but series 11 has been so boring. It’s probably the cohort. I know there’ll never be another series 5, with the fabulous tongue popping walking laugh factory Alyssa Edwards and her explosive rivalry with Coco Montrese, and the loveable underdog Jinx Monsoon trouncing the bitchy Rolaskatox (two thirds of which I do love, though…just not you Roxxxy). But just because it can’t get as good as it once was, doesn’t mean it can’t be good. I loved the cast of series 10, with the hilarious Monique and Monet and the adorable Kameron Michaels and the hilariously savage Asia O'Hara. But series 11? Nah. What a lacklustre bunch of queens.

Like 'Doctor Reverend' Silky Nutmeg Ganache, who despite having one of my favourite drag names of all time, has been the human equivalent of backache; annoying, persistent and worrying. She is the Eureka of the season, the typical 'big girl' loudmouth that RuPaul and the producers urgently insist is ‘loveable’ and 'hilarious' but actually you’d rather pull out your own teeth with a plumbing wrench than meet them in real life. She’s horrible about her fellow queens–
“Soju, the bitch that went home first, the bitch that came in looking like Ronald McDonald”

“Brooke let her good Judy Nina come out looking like a hot donkey fool”

“I ain't going home for no ratchet hoe that drag cost three dollars”

 – but claims she’s been “nice to every bitch all up in here” all season. Shut up, Silky, you massive liar. Some of her barbs at the other queens have been really uncalled for and unnecessarily rude. I didn't even find her Oprah Winfrey impersonation that funny, and that's her crowning moment of th season. Her makeup is worse than mine, and that’s saying something because I don't even know how to contour my big squishy face, and her looks are always really average and spilling out around her padding. Silky. You got the same critique WEEKS in a row about how bad your padding is, sponge literally visible in between your hemless, unfinished 'outfits'. Take. It. On. Board. Or don’t, actually. I’d quite like to not see you in the Drag Race Hall of Fame. Just sashay away.

I can’t make up my mind about Brooke Lynn, the arguably obvious winner. I do like her…ish, she has her moments and she was funny in that one acting challenge where she was a naked dancer…and I recognise she’s talented…but…she knows it. And that's what makes it difficult. She’s just so smug, even though her Snatch Game performances made Phi Phi O’Hara’s Lady Gaga seem Oscar-worthy, and no one likes a smug overachiever, except for maybe Vanjie, who has had a nice little romance background storyline this season (although Brooke’s revelation that she’s never had a boyfriend makes me wonder if they have much of a future together). If she does win, I will at least feel the way I did when Aquaria won; I'd rather it had been someone with a better personality, but she deserves it. She is talented, that’s undeniable. Her Sorry Not Sorry lip sync is one of the better performances in the show's history, and let’s not forget that Snatch Game runway.

Absolutely. Incredible. But do I love her? Is she my favourite? No. She's just a phenomenal dancer who can turn a great look. That's as far as she goes. 

Akeria C. Davenport is basically just her drag aunt, Kennedy Davenport – boring. Even when she’s being bitchy and ‘funny’ in her pieces to camera, I’m bored. I really can't pinpoint what it is! She is soft-spoken, which fades into obscurity when joined by other, louder cast members. And I've never been one for the pageant queens, often preferring unique, borderline crazy looks over polished and perfect. I did gain a lot more respect for her and interest in her after learning she’s raising her youngest brother’s son because she didn’t want to see her nephew in the system (it’s always nice to learn that these contestants are human and not characters). Honestly, she seems like a really decent person. Maybe that's why I'm not too interested in her. She's just...meh. I have no strong feelings either way.

Yvie Oddly has been my favourite of the series, as I’m sure she has for many others. The dirty laugh, the show-stopping looks, the amazing rap bars she wrote, her fierceness and amazing dancing in the face of her condition – she just does it for me. Ross Matthews’ bumming off her is annoying but deserved, and I too am always excited to see what she’ll come out wearing; her jellyfish take on the 'fringe' theme for the runway is one of my favourite Drag Race looks of all time. I respect that she has always stayed true to herself, standing by looks even if they weren't popular with the judges, and being honest with her fellow queens, not backing down in arguments even when Silky was trying to tear her a new one. I would like her to win, but I have a feeling she won’t. The producers won’t want to have Sharon Needles’ storyline of the oddball besting the pageant queens again. I can pray, though.

That’s the top four, and frankly, I’d like to swap half of them out. I loved Nina West – or maybe I didn’t, but she was definitely the best of a bad bunch – just because she was funny and friendly and modest with her wins and she is the obvious choice for Miss Congeniality. Plus, older queens never get such a good run. I was really rooting for her. Vanjie, of course, has been a very entertaining person to have onscreen, and not just because Jinx Monsoon called her ‘the DMX of drag’. She’s not just funny for random, memeable exits (that second one where she ran back "Don't turn off the spotlight yet") really made me giggle. I enjoyed watching her, and it was sad to see her go home due to what ultimately was an average day. I’m sure she’ll be on the next All Stars. The other stand-out queen for me is Scarlet "I am Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman" Envy, who I really would have loved to have seen more of. I loved watching her friendship with Yvie, and ultimately she was so funny. She dances like Bambi taking his first steps...on an iced-over pond. But she did at least refuse to wallow in self-pity or panic, quipping, "I can't dance but I've been with plenty of dancers." I just loved her, and maybe I'd have had a better time with series 11 if she'd been in more episodes.

Out of drag, Scarlet just looks like a campy Jesus. I enjoy that.

I couldn’t even tell you who the earlier contestants were or what the first challenges were because they were so underwhelming. There was the Black Panther and Get Out parody challenge, which was entertaining, and the 6-way lip sync genuinely made my jaw drops, as far as shock twists go. But I really am struggling to remember a lot of what happened because I've been quite underwhelmed. #WigGate was a boring scandal/argument point. Ariel, if your wigs are worth hundreds, maybe even thousands of dollars, and hold just as much sentimental value, how did you FORGET to pack them?? 

Who do I want to win? Yvie. But whatever the outcome, I’ll still feel very ‘meh’ about the whole thing. I have enjoyed 'Mighty Love' as the runway song though, so that's...something. Never let it be said that I'm 100% negative. More like 95%.

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